Forgiveness - Hogs

I just watched a special on 20/20 about forgiveness. There were some very amazing stories about how people had forgiven horrible atrocities committed against them, or someone they loved. I caught the tail end of a story about a woman who forgave a man who raped her, and told him so. Now, to me, perhaps because I have an intense need to be respected, rape is about the most terrible wrong that can be committed against a person, because it shows a complete lack of respect. It is indignity at its worst...a complete disregard for another person's comfort and feelings...This may seem crazy, but I think of it as something worse than murder, because it is something that you have to keep living with. Something you have to strive to overcome daily. Sooooo...when I heard that this woman had forgiven him, my first response was defensive. I thought, 'What a weak woman...to actually TELL a man who had disrespected her in the worst way possible that it was okay!'

I sat with a narrowed brow as I critically took in the other stories. A woman who forgave a man who killed her pregnant daughter. A man who invited a judge who convicted him of a crime he didn't commit to his wedding.

Finally there was a story about a Jewish woman who had been taken by the nazis at a very young age. They had wounded her arm and drained her of her blood so that they could take note of how much blood a person can lose and still live. It was what this woman said that got me thinking...When the interviewer asked her how she had been able to forgive the nazis, she said in her beautiful, thick accent, "I asked myself, how would hating them help me? Would it make my life better?"

I thought about that. See, I have actually written a section on forgiveness in a new Christian book being published soon. I have had the same thought as the old Jewish woman before. "How does hating this person help me?" I have had the strength, in the past, to overcome the worst wrong ever committed against me. But somewhere along the way I lost it. I, the 'expert' on forgiveness, sat on the couch feeling extremely irritated that these people would actually forgive these sick, heartless people. But after I thought about what the Jewish woman said some more, I realized that by forgiving someone, you don't tell them it's alright. You don't say, 'it's okay, please do it again'. You make a choice for yourself not to hold it inside and let it fester up and hurt your life. You make a choice to move on and not let this person hold power over you; and you have to make that same choice everyday...because as you can see from my experience, it is not a one time decision. I have easily become bitter again.

As hard as it may be, I hope I can muster up the strength to be like the beautiful old Jewish woman, and say, "How is this helping me?" Because...it has nothing to do with the person who hurt you. You will never stop hurting until you let it go.

"The naive forgive and forget.

The stupid neither forgive or forget.

The wise forgive, but do not forget."

Now that I'm done with my serious blog, let me move on to the hogs...

My friend came over tonight and informed me that she was hog hunting. I went out into my backyard there were a bunch of country boys gathered there yelling in very thick accents and before I knew it, this huge, HORRIBLE squealing sound came from where the boys were...It was a hog, weighing about 300 pounds, and almost a match for all the boys put together. Every once in awhile after laying almost silent for awhile, the hog would get a second wind and start trying to run away, squealing horrifically all the while. More than once I started running away because it scared me so bad! Hahaha. It was interesting. I feel as if I've seen it all now...

Okay, I haven't seen it all. But that was definitely an experience!

Half the fun was seeing all the testosterone driven boys holding the squirming pig down. It was better than any movie.