my road not taken.

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,

And sorry I could not travel both

And be one traveler, long I stood

And looked down one as far as I could

To where it bent in the undergrowth.

Then took the other, as just as fair,

And having perhaps the better claim,

Because it was grassy and wanted wear;

Though as for that the passing there

Had worn them really about the same.

And both that morning equally lay

In leaves no step had trodden black.

Oh, I kept the first for another day!

Yet knowing how way leads on to way,

I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference.

I've been thinking a lot lately about how life plays out.

Several things have led to these musings...the first being the amazing movie, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. The movie, of course, is about a boy who is born an old man, and instead of aging year by year, he becomes younger and younger. It seems like a simple plot line, but when you look deeper, the movie deals with so many amazing and far-out concepts.

One of these was 'the butterfly effect'...the concept that every little tiny thing that happens in life...from answering a phone call to getting distracted by something small makes a difference in not only your life, but in the lives of everyone on the planet. We are all connected and our lives intertwine. You hear the phone ring as you're about to leave the house for work and decide to pause and answer it...someone else gets your cab. Because that person gets the cab first and is therefore not late for work, they are able to keep their job...and because you got the later cab, you show up to work a few minutes late but end up running into/meeting the love of your life (who you would have missed had you arrived a few seconds earlier) on the sidewalk outside.

It's mind-boggling to think about all the things that happen and how our lives are all connected. It's really actually beautiful...but it can make you paranoid if you think about it too much, because even though the examples I gave were positive, negative things happen in this manner, as well, and it's scary to realize that.

It makes you wonder what you've passed up because of small choices you've made.

I wonder what I've given up. Right now, I'm wondering if a choice I made kept people from ending up together. I can think of at least 5 people right off the top of my head that may have been significantly affected by a choice I made recently. Now, really, there's no way to know that things wouldn't have ended up the same way had I not made the choice I made, so I'll never know. Just as way leads on to way, one choice leads to another choice. There is never truly a way to get back to the original choice once other people's lives have been affected...so you can never go back and find out. Additionally, when you affect another person's life with a choice you make, you unwittingly send them down another path which will lead them to another path, thus taking them even further from the original situation as well.

I don't know if I'm making any sense...I've just been haunted by these thoughts lately.

randommmmmmmmm.

I want everything to be new.

I want a new start. A new life. A new place.

I wish I'd been born a redhead.

I wish I lived in New York City.

I wish I could do 'casual'.

I wish I had something yellow to wear.

I wish I worked in a coffee shop and listened to 'A Fine Frenzy' all day every day (okay, maybe not all day everyday, but a lot).

I wish I had some hot tea.

I wish I could just leave everything behind and become someone completely new.

In fact...I wish I could just...change my name. To...Fiona. Or Isabella or something. Even though neither of those are particularly appealing to me...Isabella's better than Fiona though...maybe I'll go with that.

Awww damn. Things will be good again=)

8-O

  I'm really getting tired of people being creepy...I know some of you are like, lurking around my blog...Look in my sidebar. There should be a little counter there that tells me where you people are reading from. Now it's nice that you guys are reading, but only if it's because you're genuinely interested in the goings-on of my life and in my thoughts. I would just like to say that if you don't like me, get the hell off my blog and stop lurking around. I'm not kidding. If you don't like me, there is no need for you to be so interested in my personal life. 

  And another thing...if you don't like, me, get rid of me on your other accounts, too. I got an anonymous comment telling me (in much more rude words) that I was an insecure, fake bitch. I don't know who sent it...But honestly, if I don't have anything nice to say to someone, I don't say anything at all unless the situation calls for it or they confront me first. I don't think that's being fake...I think it's accentuating the good things. Now seeing as the comment was anonymous and assumptions are stupid, I'm not going to go around deleting the people I think may have said it, but if you're reading this, I advise you to go ahead and delete me, since you obviously don't like me. 

  Back the hell off and get out of my life. Stop voyeuristically watching me and stop stalking my things. It's c-r-e-e-p-y. 

  For those of you who like me and actually have an interest in my life...carry on=) And sorry for this blog. I'm just a little irritated right now. 

intothebrainandontotheblog.

I was talking to my friend Devan earlier today.

After a short while of talking, I realized that I have reached the most confusing point in my life as of yet. I mean, this past year takes the cake for confusing times. It wins hands down. Out of every confusing and frustrating time in my entire life before now, this past year absolutely tops everything else.

And I never do anything to make things less confusing for myself. I go after what I want right now...in the moment. I don't think about the future.

It could be considered a good thing...At least by those people who say "Don't worry about anything, live for today" bla bla bla...But when I do that, today is miserable because I know that by living for today I wreck tomorrow.

The dating game is a tough one to play.

Why is it so addicting?

People get burned over and over and yet they offer themselves up to be burned once again...Or at least to burn others.

They are masochists.

I am a masochist=D

Anyone got any wisdom for me?

amazazing!

I rode with my friend Elishah to a Bible Study I attend yesterday, and we had a very interesting discussion.

Elishah is the kind of person that can make conversation out of nothing...It's a gift and an art form with her. I hadn't been in the car but a minute when suddenly I was being informed of all the events taking place in every museum in our city within the next month=D

Among these events, there was included a chocolate tasting at our local civic center. The admission is $10, and chefs from all over the city are going to bring chocolate pastries and delicacies of all kinds for people to try...

Naturally, being a chocolate-lover, I automatically said, "Let's plan something!" Haha.

After this, something occurred to me, which Elishah and I spent the rest of the ride talking about.

People are always complaining of boredom. They are tired of doing the same old same old. Watching movies and going bowling is fun, but it's not new or exciting. Yet we consistently do these things over and over as if there is nothing else to do in life. As Elishah put it, "We pay to have our creativity taken away from us."

But there are so many new and interesting things to do right under our noses! There are so many opportunities and fun things to do if we simply use our imaginations and utilize the opportunities we're given!

A chocolate tasting. So random. So out of the ordinary in the way of things we do to kill boredom. It's perfect!

And there are things like this to do ALL the time! All we really have to do is look a little deeper than what movies are playing at the moment.

And honestly, we don't even need money to do some things. All we need is a little creativity and ingenuity.

Here are some of the things to do that Elishah and I came up with:

* A painting party - Obviously, a get together where all of those invited paint;-)

* Everyone goes to the library and draws another person's name from a hat, then picks out a book for that person to read. Then, everyone goes to a park and reads to the group excerpts from the book that was chosen for them.

* A random picnic out by the highway.

* A random photo shoot in all of our favorite spots downtown.

* A walk by candlelight.

* A walk through a rose garden.

* A walk in the rain.

* Go watch a choir performance, or a jazz ensemble, or a play!

Life doesn't have to be boring! We let it get that way by not utilizing the opportunities in front of us, and by not allowing our creativity to help us come up with something to do besides sitting down in a dark room on your rump for hours.

I plan to do a lot more random, sporatic, and amazingly fun things this year! 2009 is going to be a good one, I think;-)