I think I've decided that 17 is the most terrifying age EVER.
Maybe 18 is scarier, but I haven't been there yet.
But I'm right at the age where I feel so extremely young and unprepared for the decisions I have to make...But I know I have to make them.
I know that I am capable of making these decisions and of changing anything I want to change in my life...I know I'm capable of moving forward and being what I want to be...I KNOW that I can do it. I know that I have to.
But uncharted territory is always scary for me...for anyone, I guess.
The one thing I need right now is to know that I have support. Please. The one thing I know is that I have to have your support, your permission to move forward. Your permission to take my life in the direction I choose, even if it's not the direction you would choose for me...and trust that if it's the wrong decision, I'm smart enough to realize it with time. I love you so much...I don't want to be away from you. I don't want to break away. I don't want to be apart from you. Separation from you is not what I'm looking for.
I promise to be there for you through your trials...Through whatever these months bring.
Please be there for me through mine. There are things I'm going to need to do to prepare for my own life that I'll need you there for. Please help me. I'm scared, but I feel like it's time for some changes.
I still haven't made my mind up 100%...I am just asking you please, please show me that you'll love me whatever I do...and that you'll trust me to take care of myself.
Don't be sad. Don't worry about it now. I love you very much.
About Me
- Kendra
- To me, clowns aren't funny. In fact, they're kind of scary. I've wondered where this started and I think it goes back to the time I went to the circus, and a clown killed my dad.
My Playlist
2 comments:
I know who this is written to - but I cannot write a candid reply since our blogs are being stalked.
Just know I love you - and that will never change.
But also remember there are things that people know that you may benefit from - just from experience. Don't hold onto something because you're afraid it will disappear if you let go of it. Things that stay because they make a choice to stay are the only things worth having. I mean that sincerely. Letting go of something can sometimes be the most liberating thing.
More later. I love you. You have my love no matter what.
You guys are being stalked? Well I assure you it's not me, I'm just your biggest fan :)
Ok where to begin? I'm not even sure you care what I have to say but like that will stop me.
You and I have a kindred spirit, I get you because I see a little of me in you.
I was raised completely differently then you and have had a polar opposite childhood, trust me.
We both seem to want to be free, free to make our own decisions, free to choose our path, free to find our purpose in this world.
I both loved and hated 17. I loved it because I knew I was almost done with high school and I could move out and finally LIVE.
Jason and I started dating when I was 17 and you know the result of that you met all 4 of them :)
We have a special relationship, he is different from all the guys I dated and I prayed for him and he showed up. I knew after 1 month of dating that he was the one. I feel things, I know things, I don't know how to explain it except it's a God given ability to read people, situations and feel the vibes.
Anyhoo, I knew he was my prince and here we are 19 years later totally in love with each other.
I realize how rare and special that really is, I thought every marriage was great that wasn't divorced. I came from divorce, my parents hated each other, I'm surprised they didn't kill each other...
As for you being on the edge of HUGE life altering decisions, I say sit back and reflect, think about what you really want out of life.
What are your goals?
dreams?
Who and what is important to you?
Think on these things.
You have a unique situation where you haven't spent the last 12 years in a classroom waiting to really live you are living everyday. You do have interests, you have dreams.
Now you also don't have to decide before you are 18, you aren't being forced to leave home.
I actually recommend you stay a little longer.
Just because you turn 18 doesn't mean you know everything and can live independently of others.
Ask Jewls about Valerie, her dd wasn't ready to *graduate* at 18 and waited until 19 and now has decided what she wants and is working towards it. She has always been unschooled.
I realize you are torn from being a child to being an adult, I know you just want to get there already.
I hated when people always told me to slow down, life goes fast don't rush it.
I was born ready, I was born responsible, I was born grown up so get out of my way already.
I feel ya girl, I really do.
Don't make any hasty decisions, you are young, you do have time to figure it out.
Your mom will support whatever you decide because she loves you more than life itself.
I'm here for you, really you can use me, write to me, call me or just tell me to shut the f*ck up and leave you alone.
It's all good.
Gotta go now.
Take Care!
Post a Comment