Left, Left, Left, Right, Left.

Sometimes I feel like I can't take life.

I can't take the pain of the past. I can't take the decisions I have to make for the future. I can't take the monotony of the present. I feel like my life is nothing. And I feel like my future is nothing.

Then I remember that life is happening now.

I'm looking at my Psychology textbook right now. I've been reading it. I've been studying it. I've been working hard to absorb all the information in it. I've been doing the same with the rest of my schoolwork as well. I've been working hard at my job and saving money. I've been getting organized and prepared and signing up for tests and applying to colleges and considering my options and thinking about what I want to do.

All of this is life.

Time marches blindly on; ignoring my pain, ignoring the fact that I'm going with it, kicking and screaming, clinging to anything that will at least provide the illusion that it's standing still and not moving on without me.

Time marches blindly on...but I'm so happy that I'm at least making use of it. I don't feel quite as useless when I do this.