A year ago yesterday, my Papa died of a brain tumor.
It's so strange that it happened a whole year ago, and yet so much in my life has changed since then that it's quite obvious some time has passed. It just doesn't seem like he's dead sometimes...I guess it's that way with anyone who dies. I didn't know him very well, but I knew him well enough, and some days I really miss him. I can't imagine how it must be for my Memaw...Pray for her please. She had said that this means she hasn't even been able to talk to him for a whole year.
You know, he was always a strong guy. He was about 70 when he died, but he never looked elderly, you know? It didn't seem like it was his time yet.
When he died, it was my first real experience with death, and I was amazed at how natural it felt..for.maybe not for him, but for me. I had thought that to feel death in the air would be scary, and unnatural. I remember the night before he died sitting in the living room and thinking, "There's death in the air." It's a dramatic sentiment, but it's what I thought. I could feel it. It was a heavy presence, but not the horrible, scary thing I imagined. I don't know how to explain it, but it felt as if this thing, death, was a part of life. Not the end of it, but apart of it. Sort of the way you build up your first kiss in your head to be this grand thing...You've never kissed anyone, and you think it's going to be some great romantic, dramatic thing with music playing in the background and everyone clapping or something of the like...then it happens, and yes it's romantic, but it's a lot more comfortable and ordinary than you had imagined as well. It's not dramatic. It's a good thing, but it's also just a part of life. That's sort of how I would describe the feeling of death...you think it's going to be this scary, bad, horrible thing...and yes it is scary in the sense that it's new territory...it's scary in the sense that no one who is alive could describe to you what it's like to die, and it's scary in the sense that we don't know what's going to happen to us afterwards for sure...but it's not scary in the horror-movie kind of way. Yes, it's a bad thing in the sense that it's sad and we won't get to see that person anymore, but it's not a bad thing in the sense that we'll never be able to move on...not in the sense that our lives come to a screeching halt. It's a part of life. As natural as a kiss. At least for me, the observer.
One more thing I have to say though...it may have been more natural feeling for me, because I was not married to him, and I was not his child. I loved him, and I was close to him, but it may have been easier for me to observe how natural death felt to the onlooker because I was not as grieved as some. That's not to say I didn't love him...Just that I can understand if you have lost someone very close to you and to you, it did not feel natural at all.
He's in a better place now, I know that much. It was hard to be sad for him when he died because I know that he's in a better place. That sounds cliche', but it's true. He wouldn't come back to this world for anything.
Sunday, July 29, 2007
Friday, July 27, 2007
Guess what, Guys???
I know what my true love's name is going to be!!!
I took this quiz on blogthings, and apparently his name is Wesley!!!
You know, like from The Princess Bride!!! Wesley, remember???
I'm so excited! I'm going to marry Wesley!!! lol
You know what's really kind of funny? Is that this guy, the guy who plays Wesley, looks almost exactly like my dad when he was younger...
Thursday, July 26, 2007
HAIRSPRAY!!!
I went to see Hairspray today, and it was AWESOME!!!
The story I think was originally from a book, which was turned into a movie in the '80s, which was turned into a Broadway Musical, and now back into a movie musical.
I plan on seeing both the older movie, and someday the Broadway play, but right now, I'll be satisfied with the teeny bopper version I just saw...
The story is just amazing...To sum up the movie, it is a great story about how people should overlook each other's difference and learn to love one another, and accept one another. And, my personal favorite, about how guys don't always fall for Barbies:-)
The music was great, the actors were great...I just give this movie a big thumbs up, and a reccommendation to you all!
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
Books! Wonderful Books!
I have been in Book Heaven recently.
Not because before there weren't good books, but only recently have I gotten organized about it. I now have running list in progress, and whenever I think of something I want to read or get book reccomendation, I put it on the list. And I have actually been reading, too!
I just got finished with Blue Like Jazz by Donald Miller, for the second time, and it is an excellent book. Amazing. I have to read it at least once a year now...
Now I am reading Addicted to Mediocrity by Frank Schaeffer, which is about Christians and the Arts...I have only read the first chapter so far, but that first chapter was really great...Hence my real reason for this post.
Here is something I just read out of the book:
Not because before there weren't good books, but only recently have I gotten organized about it. I now have running list in progress, and whenever I think of something I want to read or get book reccomendation, I put it on the list. And I have actually been reading, too!
I just got finished with Blue Like Jazz by Donald Miller, for the second time, and it is an excellent book. Amazing. I have to read it at least once a year now...
Now I am reading Addicted to Mediocrity by Frank Schaeffer, which is about Christians and the Arts...I have only read the first chapter so far, but that first chapter was really great...Hence my real reason for this post.
Here is something I just read out of the book:
I have come to the conlusion
that the origin of the arts we are discussing
was nature itself and that the Master who taught us
was that divine light infused in us
by special grace, which has made us not only
superior to the animal creation,
but even, if one may say so,
like God Himself.
that the origin of the arts we are discussing
was nature itself and that the Master who taught us
was that divine light infused in us
by special grace, which has made us not only
superior to the animal creation,
but even, if one may say so,
like God Himself.
When I read that, I knew I liked the book. That last statement, that we are 'like God Himself', may be a provocative one, but it's true. When I read it, I got mental image of God putting his fingerprints on us as He creates us...Breathing the breath of life into each of us. Giving us a piece of Himself. We each God in us.
As I read, I could see my sister writing, or drawing, whichever, next to me. And I could sense the God in her. I could sense the God in me. I could sense that each and every human has the fingerprints of God all over them...That we each have the characteristics of God. This may sound new agey...You know, the whole, "God is everything" concept, but that's not what I'm getting at.
What I mean is that creativity is a godly characteristic. When we create something beautiful, we are following the example of god...When we love someone, we are also following God's example.
Great, isn't it?
As I read, I could see my sister writing, or drawing, whichever, next to me. And I could sense the God in her. I could sense the God in me. I could sense that each and every human has the fingerprints of God all over them...That we each have the characteristics of God. This may sound new agey...You know, the whole, "God is everything" concept, but that's not what I'm getting at.
What I mean is that creativity is a godly characteristic. When we create something beautiful, we are following the example of god...When we love someone, we are also following God's example.
Great, isn't it?
Rejection and Pastry
Well, I didn't make it into Cheaper By The Dozen. And surprisingly, I'm not all that disappointed about it. I thought I would be, but I'm not. I think it's because about 73 kids auditioned, and there were only 16 parts...I saw some really good actors there who didn't make it, so I don't feel like that big of a loser. I just want to get up and try again...Maybe even start something myself, although that sounds like a big project at the moment.
You may have read this already if you read my blog regularly, but about a week ago I posted something about the movie Ratatouille and said that I thought I might want to consider a career in the Culinary Arts...Baking and Pastry, specifically (I like desserts!). So I started requesting information at Culinary Arts Schools everywhere from Houston to NYC...And I got something in the mail from the Art Institute of Houston the other day inviting me to an open house in the Culinary Arts department on August 4. I wanted to go, of course, but mom wanted me to call and find out if they were having another one anytime soon, just in case it didn't work out on such short notice.
So I did...the lady let me know first of all that they would probably have another Open House in October, but that we could also schedule a private open house and a tour. But man, she was a talker...She told me a LOT of stuff and asked a lot of questions ("We can also schedule you a tour of student housing...unless you want to stay with a relative or something in the area, student housing is where you can live"; "What made you want to get into Baking & Pastry?"; "What year will you be entering?"). I'm not saying I didn't enjoy it...I love friendly people...it was just kind of entertaining because she got in so much information in about three minutes:-)
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
Audition.
A few days ago, my mom, sister, brother, two friends and I went to see the play 'High School Musical. It was great...much better than the movie, in fact. So it really got me wanting to be in a play...I used to be involved in theater all the time, and I loved it. The atmosphere was great, and it was just something I really liked to do.
So I asked the lead actor in High School Musical if he knew of any upcoming auditions...And he told me that there was an audition for Cheaper By The Dozen about an hour away from where I live. He told me this this morning...and the auditions were TONIGHT!!!
I told mom about the audition, thinking it would be too much trouble to be in a play so far away, but she was all for the idea and took me, my sister, and my friend down the road, Bethany, to audition.
The audition was very interesting...it was so different than anything I've done before. At The Old Opera House, where I used to do plays, they would give you an audition sheet that was numbered, and you were supposed to go into a room with only a couple people watching you and read a part that they assign you beforehand. It was much more organized, and I like it better that way. The audition tonight, though, was very disorganized and...different. There was an auditorium with a lot of people, and they read scenes from a script, and you had to go onstage and stand in line to read for the part you wanted. They didn't ask you to do anything in particular at all...you just had to read for the part you wanted...it was so unusual...and then the director had each individual stand up onstage and she would just look at them, sizing them up...I guess she was taking notes on our appearance, and it was very unnerving, because it felt like everyone else in the place was doing the same ("I wonder if that cute guy over there notices my pudgy stomach!"). It was scary. It just felt weird, and the way I kind of just had to make it all happen for myself really threw me off...It was overwhelming.
I didn't do badly when I read...but I don't think I did any better than anyone else who read. Please pray that I get in, though...it's kind of important to me to be involved in something like this again. Actually, it's very important to me.
I should know by tomorrow morning, and the first read-thru is tomorrow night!
(So pray hard and fast!!! Hehe...)
So I asked the lead actor in High School Musical if he knew of any upcoming auditions...And he told me that there was an audition for Cheaper By The Dozen about an hour away from where I live. He told me this this morning...and the auditions were TONIGHT!!!
I told mom about the audition, thinking it would be too much trouble to be in a play so far away, but she was all for the idea and took me, my sister, and my friend down the road, Bethany, to audition.
The audition was very interesting...it was so different than anything I've done before. At The Old Opera House, where I used to do plays, they would give you an audition sheet that was numbered, and you were supposed to go into a room with only a couple people watching you and read a part that they assign you beforehand. It was much more organized, and I like it better that way. The audition tonight, though, was very disorganized and...different. There was an auditorium with a lot of people, and they read scenes from a script, and you had to go onstage and stand in line to read for the part you wanted. They didn't ask you to do anything in particular at all...you just had to read for the part you wanted...it was so unusual...and then the director had each individual stand up onstage and she would just look at them, sizing them up...I guess she was taking notes on our appearance, and it was very unnerving, because it felt like everyone else in the place was doing the same ("I wonder if that cute guy over there notices my pudgy stomach!"). It was scary. It just felt weird, and the way I kind of just had to make it all happen for myself really threw me off...It was overwhelming.
I didn't do badly when I read...but I don't think I did any better than anyone else who read. Please pray that I get in, though...it's kind of important to me to be involved in something like this again. Actually, it's very important to me.
I should know by tomorrow morning, and the first read-thru is tomorrow night!
(So pray hard and fast!!! Hehe...)
Friday, July 20, 2007
This is Me Right Now
I feel like a fool
So I'm going to stop troubling you
Buried in my yard
A letter to send to you
And if I forget
or God forbid die too soon
Hope that you'll hear me
Know that I wrote to you
- Tegan and Sara
Post Script - Don't worry about me. Just feeling a little nostalgic.
So I'm going to stop troubling you
Buried in my yard
A letter to send to you
And if I forget
or God forbid die too soon
Hope that you'll hear me
Know that I wrote to you
- Tegan and Sara
Post Script - Don't worry about me. Just feeling a little nostalgic.
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
Ice Cream and Chai Cake
Recently, my mom, brother, sister and I went to West Virginia where we used to live for a two week visit. I had so much fun there, and we slid very well back into our old positions in our little circle of friends. I couldn't stand it the night we had to go...Couldn't take the thought of leaving WV again, so I decided that night, while laying in a dark room in a heap of some of my closest friends and listening to my best guy friend, Devan, play piano, that when I turned 18, I would come back to West Virginia and live there...maybe not forever, but at least for awhile.
It took me awhile to tell my mom about this plan, but when I did, she was less than thrilled. A lot less than thrilled.
This, to me, is one of the first signs that I'm really growing up. The fact that my mom actually took this plan seriously instead of waving it off as a phase that would pass really surprised me. She was actually upset about it...which could only mean that she believed me.
I decided that that was what I wanted to do, though. And so I put it in the back of my mind in the 'worry about it later' folder of the disorganized filing cabinet that serves as my brain. I am the kind of person that doesn't get excited or sad over something until it's looking at me right in the face. Apparently though, my mom isn't. It has been at the forefront of her mind, and stayed there, ever since I told her. And I didn't realize how much it bothered her until today.
We were watching Gilmore Girls today, and an episode came on about Rory (the seventeen year old daughter on the show) going off to Harvard, the school she has always wanted to attend. She is in her senior year of high school in this episode, and someone asks her mom, Lorelei, questions like, "What are you going to do with Rory's room when she leaves?" and it starts to hit Lorelei that Rory is really leaving soon...you can tell it's sort of a surprise of Lorelei, not because she didn't know it was coming, but because she didn't see it coming so fast!
Towards the end, my mom started tearing up and said, "Oh, I can't watch this episode!"
I asked her what was wrong, and she just shook her head and wouldn't tell me for a few minutes...
So when the show was done, she followed me into the dining room and hugged me, saying, "You can't go to Harvard!" (which, by the way, I'm not planning on...Harvard now, to mom, apparently represents any place that is more than five miles away from her).
She just cried and cried and wouldn't let go of me for a few minutes...and if I said, "I love you, Mom," it only made her cry even more. In the end, the only thing that resolved this sad issue was ice cream.
But I can tell that ice cream won't suffice for very long. Growing up is a sad thing. And a hard thing. I just hope it ends up being worthwhile.
Now for something a little bit happier to think about...A few days ago, after watching Ratatouille, I was looking through some cookbooks, and found a recipe for chai cake...
Now, if you know me, you know that you'll be hard pressed to find a thing that I love more than chai tea! I was so excited, I about had a seizure when I found this recipe!
So tonight I just randomly decided to make it.
It was good! Really good! We stayed up way late watching Gilmore Girls and eating Chai Cake...Boy was I a happy girl! lol
It took me awhile to tell my mom about this plan, but when I did, she was less than thrilled. A lot less than thrilled.
This, to me, is one of the first signs that I'm really growing up. The fact that my mom actually took this plan seriously instead of waving it off as a phase that would pass really surprised me. She was actually upset about it...which could only mean that she believed me.
I decided that that was what I wanted to do, though. And so I put it in the back of my mind in the 'worry about it later' folder of the disorganized filing cabinet that serves as my brain. I am the kind of person that doesn't get excited or sad over something until it's looking at me right in the face. Apparently though, my mom isn't. It has been at the forefront of her mind, and stayed there, ever since I told her. And I didn't realize how much it bothered her until today.
We were watching Gilmore Girls today, and an episode came on about Rory (the seventeen year old daughter on the show) going off to Harvard, the school she has always wanted to attend. She is in her senior year of high school in this episode, and someone asks her mom, Lorelei, questions like, "What are you going to do with Rory's room when she leaves?" and it starts to hit Lorelei that Rory is really leaving soon...you can tell it's sort of a surprise of Lorelei, not because she didn't know it was coming, but because she didn't see it coming so fast!
Towards the end, my mom started tearing up and said, "Oh, I can't watch this episode!"
I asked her what was wrong, and she just shook her head and wouldn't tell me for a few minutes...
So when the show was done, she followed me into the dining room and hugged me, saying, "You can't go to Harvard!" (which, by the way, I'm not planning on...Harvard now, to mom, apparently represents any place that is more than five miles away from her).
She just cried and cried and wouldn't let go of me for a few minutes...and if I said, "I love you, Mom," it only made her cry even more. In the end, the only thing that resolved this sad issue was ice cream.
But I can tell that ice cream won't suffice for very long. Growing up is a sad thing. And a hard thing. I just hope it ends up being worthwhile.
Now for something a little bit happier to think about...A few days ago, after watching Ratatouille, I was looking through some cookbooks, and found a recipe for chai cake...
Now, if you know me, you know that you'll be hard pressed to find a thing that I love more than chai tea! I was so excited, I about had a seizure when I found this recipe!
So tonight I just randomly decided to make it.
It was good! Really good! We stayed up way late watching Gilmore Girls and eating Chai Cake...Boy was I a happy girl! lol
Ratatouille
I went to see Ratatouille yesterday...I've heard that a lot of people don't like this movie. They say it's stupid or dumb, or at least not as good as they had hoped for. Now, I don't know if this is because of my amazing ability to appreciate the idiotic things in life, or because it is set in Paris, France (a place I am dying to go), but I LOVED this movie!!! It was amazing...the feel of it was great, the animation good, the character's body language was quite humanlike (at least I think so), and it inspired me to cook something!!
I've been wondering about someday taking classes at a Culinary Arts School...I'd love to learn how to cook really well...everyone would want to be my friend! (Hehe) And I think with the right education, I might not be half bad at it. Besides, I think it's fun! My friend Devan came down to visit last November, and we decided oneday we wanted to make a fancy Italian dinner. So the next day we made this gourmet, absolutely delicious italian meal...I forget what it was called but it was just some of those curly noodles with a really really really good sauce over them! We also made these little italian doughnut thingies. (Okay, I just realized that if I'm going to be good at cooking, I should probably start remembering the names of these things! lol) But it was just really good, and Devan and I had a lot of fun.
Monday, July 16, 2007
Mutant Cake and Birthday Sentiments
Yesterday was my sister's birthday!
She turned 14 years old yesterday at 5 am something...before she woke up.
About a week before her birthday, I decided I wanted to make her a
cake...I had taken a cake decorating class at a homeschool co'op a few years before, and had a cake decorating kit I'd gotten for Christmas that same year. So I started planning it out, and asked Kaitlyn what kind of cake she wanted and what she wanted on it, etc., etc...What she described to me sounded like a mutant cake...it was so weird. She couldn't seem to get straight what she wanted for about a day, but what came out ended up really nice.
I must say, it's not the perfect Martha Stewart sort of thing I imagined, but it's definitely better than I thought I could do! Not to mention, it tasted alright, too...
The top left picture is of me with the cake. Duh.
The other is a picture of Kaitlyn yesterday with a piece of the cake (I took her to the schoolyard down the road for a picnic kind of thingy).
Now, in honor of a certain 14 year old, I want to say a few things about Kaitlyn.
From the beginning, Kaitlyn has always been somewhat quiet. More quiet than I am, at any rate, and less likely to tell you what's really on her mind. I remember when I was little, I used to look at this darling little sister and think, "Why doesn't she ever talk?"
She has also always had a moody streak. We have home video of she and I at Christmas one year. I reached out and tried to take a present she considered hers, and immediately, her natural defense mechanisms were put into motion...She scrunched up her face and strarted shrieking (through the barrier of her binky, I might add) at the top of her lungs!!!
She still has these characteristics today! They are two things I hate about her, and love about her at the same time.
We have always been good friends and playmates, but here in these past few years, Kaitlyn and I have become best friends, and I wouldn't have it any other way...She is always there to talk to me, and I can tell her just about anything. It's amazing to have someone so much like you and yet so very different at the same time to be your friend. It's amazing to have someone that you are so in sync with that sometimes, at a time when it would be inappropriate to laugh, you have to avoid looking at that person because you know that if you do, you will be able to tell by the look in their eyes that you both thought it was funny, and then there's no hope for you. You're going to laugh, and you're going to laugh hard. It's great to have someone who will say your thought aloud while you're still thinking it because you're so much on the same wavelength that you think the same things at the same time. It's great to have someone to laugh with when no one else thinks something is funny. It's great to have your own dorky inside jokes. It's great to watch chick flicks together. It's great to have someone to go dance in the rain with. It's great to have a sister.
People have always mistaken us for twins...and it's no wonder. We really are like twins born two years apart...it's amazing.
I love her so much, and I don't know what I would do without her.
Kaitlyn, you my rock, girl!
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
I went to see Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix last night to celebrate my sister's birthday.
The outing itself was just so much fun...We rode into the city singing along with all our teen angst music, then went to Pizza Hut, and Marble Slab Creamery...I love ice cream!!!
After that we headed over to the theater about an hour and a half early...which somehow turned out not to feel like too long of a wait...We got really good seats and my friend Bethany and I walked around the theater and hung out in the arcade for awhile.
The movie was spectacular...I liked it a lot. I do have a few complaints, though.
They left out SOOOO much stuff that was in the book. I think I can understand why, because the book was very long, and the movie was already 2 1/2 hours long without all the extra stuff, but still...there were a few things that I was really looking forward to seeing! Also, the scenes were very short, and things did not happen in the same order that they happened in the book. They did not go into much detail about certain things that I would like to be more clear - at least as clear as it was in the book; Some characters were not nearly as developed in the movie as they were in the book, which I disliked. Like I said, though, I really appreciated the movie as a movie by itself and as part of the movie series.
I still love the twins, Fred and George. So many of the people have changed so much in the movies! Their appearance for the most part. Fred and George have changed a lot...Professor Lupin has changed slightly.
I can't really say anything else because I would probably end up giving away something about the movie...but trust me, it was good!
I really love the character's clothes...I know it sounds strange, but I have an obsession with winter clothes and hats and scarves and sweaters and such. I love the 'London style' as I refer to it, and they have a lot of that in the movie.
Something else I liked in the movie is that one of the professors gave open examples of how things often are in public school. This person said something along the lines of, "You will know enough to pass your exams, which, after all, is what school is all about!" When she said that my mom and I looked at each other and shared a silent giggle, because it's something we talk about and observe a lot. It's so true! In today's public school system, that is so often the way people think of it. You don't need to know it if it's not on the test, right?
So right now, as far as the movies go...I think I'm torn between the fourth and fifth. There's something about the fourth that I just really liked...No idea why...there were so many cute guys in that one, but I think it also just brings back some good memories. I went to see that with a big group of my friends in West Virginia after rehearsal for a play. It was grand! (Did I just say grand? How peculiar...Hehe!)
I can't WAIT for the sixth to come out. The book was amazing. The fifth book was pretty good, but when the sixth movie comes out, I'm throwing a party!!!
The outing itself was just so much fun...We rode into the city singing along with all our teen angst music, then went to Pizza Hut, and Marble Slab Creamery...I love ice cream!!!
After that we headed over to the theater about an hour and a half early...which somehow turned out not to feel like too long of a wait...We got really good seats and my friend Bethany and I walked around the theater and hung out in the arcade for awhile.
The movie was spectacular...I liked it a lot. I do have a few complaints, though.
They left out SOOOO much stuff that was in the book. I think I can understand why, because the book was very long, and the movie was already 2 1/2 hours long without all the extra stuff, but still...there were a few things that I was really looking forward to seeing! Also, the scenes were very short, and things did not happen in the same order that they happened in the book. They did not go into much detail about certain things that I would like to be more clear - at least as clear as it was in the book; Some characters were not nearly as developed in the movie as they were in the book, which I disliked. Like I said, though, I really appreciated the movie as a movie by itself and as part of the movie series.
I still love the twins, Fred and George. So many of the people have changed so much in the movies! Their appearance for the most part. Fred and George have changed a lot...Professor Lupin has changed slightly.
I can't really say anything else because I would probably end up giving away something about the movie...but trust me, it was good!
I really love the character's clothes...I know it sounds strange, but I have an obsession with winter clothes and hats and scarves and sweaters and such. I love the 'London style' as I refer to it, and they have a lot of that in the movie.
Something else I liked in the movie is that one of the professors gave open examples of how things often are in public school. This person said something along the lines of, "You will know enough to pass your exams, which, after all, is what school is all about!" When she said that my mom and I looked at each other and shared a silent giggle, because it's something we talk about and observe a lot. It's so true! In today's public school system, that is so often the way people think of it. You don't need to know it if it's not on the test, right?
So right now, as far as the movies go...I think I'm torn between the fourth and fifth. There's something about the fourth that I just really liked...No idea why...there were so many cute guys in that one, but I think it also just brings back some good memories. I went to see that with a big group of my friends in West Virginia after rehearsal for a play. It was grand! (Did I just say grand? How peculiar...Hehe!)
I can't WAIT for the sixth to come out. The book was amazing. The fifth book was pretty good, but when the sixth movie comes out, I'm throwing a party!!!
Monday, July 9, 2007
Shaving Cream, and The Great Yellow Woodbee
This morning, while I was literally still asleep and in the middle of my dreams, I found myself on my feet and yelling, "What's wrong with you???"The reason? I've been staying at my cousin's house for the past five days or so, and this morning, my 20 year old cousin, Caleb, snuck into the room where my sister and I were sleeping and squirted shaving cream in our hair. It was quite a brutal wake up call...But I think the reason I reacted so dramatically is because what he did was somehow incorporated into my dream...I don't remember how, but for some reason it made the shaving cream incident worse than it really was in my mind, lol...
The next thing I heard was his mega-deep voice saying, "I didn't mean to make you mad." The first thing that came to my mind when he said that was, 'WELL WHAT DID YOU INTEND TO DO??? MAKE ME HAPPY???"
I found the incident a tad more humorous when I became more awake...and my Aunt informed me that that morning he had been telling her he wanted to say goodbye and that he was going to miss us when we left later on that day. I guess shaving cream was his way of waking us up to say goodbye without making the whole thing too mushy...But come on, Caleb...couldn't you think of any other creative ways to wake us up without making us want to murder you? lol
My male cousins are very mischevious, and both of them lack impulse control. They are SO much fun to be around (although they can be very irritating at times). Last time we visited, my cousin Austin (my age, 16) ran down the road with my underwear, and then made up a story about how he accidentally got them stuck in a tree! Then the other day, while we were on a walk, Caleb pulled up in his car, and six kids (five of whom were growing teenagers) piled into his car. Of course, I only got in the car on the condition that he would take us right home, because we couldn't wear seat belts. But nooooo...In spite of my incessant protesting, he kidnapped us and took us to the side of a cliff. Yeah. A cliff. Of course, there was a beautiful view, but the end only barely justified the means!
Geez. They're something else.
On the way home today, I got even worse of a start when we were riding home, singing along with happy songs on the radio, and suddenly out of nowhere a small yellow plane flies down UNDER the power line, and dips down about five to ten feet above the road right in front of us! No joke! It was the weirdest thing ever...We all screamed!
THEN we looked up in the sky and saw it coming back towards us! That was freaky! I was like, "STEP ON IT! BEFORE THE AIRPLANE ATTACKS US AGAIN!!!"
Can you believe it? An airplane of all things. We almost had a car accident. With an airplane.
Now not many people can say that.
The next thing I heard was his mega-deep voice saying, "I didn't mean to make you mad." The first thing that came to my mind when he said that was, 'WELL WHAT DID YOU INTEND TO DO??? MAKE ME HAPPY???"
I found the incident a tad more humorous when I became more awake...and my Aunt informed me that that morning he had been telling her he wanted to say goodbye and that he was going to miss us when we left later on that day. I guess shaving cream was his way of waking us up to say goodbye without making the whole thing too mushy...But come on, Caleb...couldn't you think of any other creative ways to wake us up without making us want to murder you? lol
My male cousins are very mischevious, and both of them lack impulse control. They are SO much fun to be around (although they can be very irritating at times). Last time we visited, my cousin Austin (my age, 16) ran down the road with my underwear, and then made up a story about how he accidentally got them stuck in a tree! Then the other day, while we were on a walk, Caleb pulled up in his car, and six kids (five of whom were growing teenagers) piled into his car. Of course, I only got in the car on the condition that he would take us right home, because we couldn't wear seat belts. But nooooo...In spite of my incessant protesting, he kidnapped us and took us to the side of a cliff. Yeah. A cliff. Of course, there was a beautiful view, but the end only barely justified the means!
Geez. They're something else.
On the way home today, I got even worse of a start when we were riding home, singing along with happy songs on the radio, and suddenly out of nowhere a small yellow plane flies down UNDER the power line, and dips down about five to ten feet above the road right in front of us! No joke! It was the weirdest thing ever...We all screamed!
THEN we looked up in the sky and saw it coming back towards us! That was freaky! I was like, "STEP ON IT! BEFORE THE AIRPLANE ATTACKS US AGAIN!!!"
Can you believe it? An airplane of all things. We almost had a car accident. With an airplane.
Now not many people can say that.
Sunday, July 8, 2007
What You See is NOT What You Get (Rant)
Recently I've had a 'friend' that has/had a crush on me say, "What you see is what you get with me. No secrets." He would say this whenever I told him I didn't know him well enough to go out with him, and I just wanted to get to know him better.
This annoyed me for two reasons.
1) It was like he was trying to convince me to go out with him even though I told him I wanted to get to know him better. I just wanted to say, 'I said no. I said I wanted to get to know you better. That's that.'
2) That is not true. Not with him, and not with anybody. Ever.
I am a pretty real and upfront person. Of course I will go heavy on the sugar if I'm trying to make a good impression, and yes, I can be sort of a chameleon, changing the way I act with different people...however, I do this no more than any other person. I really do try to be the same person around everyone, even if little things change.
BUT no matter how 'real' I am, that doesn't change the fact that you might like me a lot when you first meet me, thinking you know me, then really get to know me and realize I'm a completely different person than you thought I was. Capisce? You can never really know anybody by meeting them once, and unless you're talking about a complete idiot with no depth or personality whatsoever, what you see is NEVER what you get. If that were true, then what you knew about a person would be defined by what kind of clothes they wore, what kind of haircut they had, their dimples, their freckles, and their eye color. I have never heard anything so ridiculous in my life.
This guy doesn't seem to understand that there are more important things than how someone first appears. ANYONE can make a good impression for a couple of weeks or a month or even years! That's why it's best to get to know someone in all different kinds of settings so you can see what kind of person they really are in all situations. I can't meet someone and take a look at them and know about their deepest heartache or their worst experiences or their dreams or life goals or happiest moments or beliefs and convictions! What you see is NOT what you get. It is NEVER what you get.
Often someone that looks like an idiot you would never want to associate with can turn out to be quite smart and have real opinions about things. You just have to spend time getting to know them and talking to them. These are things you learn about a person only through time and friendship. I don't see how anyone could be shallow enough to say something like, 'What you see is what you get.' I understand the principal behind it, and I might use that phrase about somebody else sometimes, because I know some people that are just nice enough that it really would apply to them (even though it's not entirely true) for the most part; Because they are just nice people. But to say it about yourself to get someone to go out with you is just awful.
And just to let you know...The guy that said that initially proved my point. I thought he was a really nice guy at first and didn't want to hurt his feelings. In fact, I thought he was so nice that I really considered saying yes. But I'm so glad I didn't. I stuck to my resolution to get to know him better, and in spite of what he said, after some time, his real colors started to show, and he's not nearly as nice as I thought he was.
So yeah. What you see is NEVER what you get with anyone. People can be married for years and still not know each other completely. Every once in awhile my dad will tell us about something that happened to him and my mom will go, "Really? I didn't know that." They've known each other for nineteen years and still don't know everything there is to know about each other! How can they? We don't even know ourselves completely. The only one who can know us completely is God.
This annoyed me for two reasons.
1) It was like he was trying to convince me to go out with him even though I told him I wanted to get to know him better. I just wanted to say, 'I said no. I said I wanted to get to know you better. That's that.'
2) That is not true. Not with him, and not with anybody. Ever.
I am a pretty real and upfront person. Of course I will go heavy on the sugar if I'm trying to make a good impression, and yes, I can be sort of a chameleon, changing the way I act with different people...however, I do this no more than any other person. I really do try to be the same person around everyone, even if little things change.
BUT no matter how 'real' I am, that doesn't change the fact that you might like me a lot when you first meet me, thinking you know me, then really get to know me and realize I'm a completely different person than you thought I was. Capisce? You can never really know anybody by meeting them once, and unless you're talking about a complete idiot with no depth or personality whatsoever, what you see is NEVER what you get. If that were true, then what you knew about a person would be defined by what kind of clothes they wore, what kind of haircut they had, their dimples, their freckles, and their eye color. I have never heard anything so ridiculous in my life.
This guy doesn't seem to understand that there are more important things than how someone first appears. ANYONE can make a good impression for a couple of weeks or a month or even years! That's why it's best to get to know someone in all different kinds of settings so you can see what kind of person they really are in all situations. I can't meet someone and take a look at them and know about their deepest heartache or their worst experiences or their dreams or life goals or happiest moments or beliefs and convictions! What you see is NOT what you get. It is NEVER what you get.
Often someone that looks like an idiot you would never want to associate with can turn out to be quite smart and have real opinions about things. You just have to spend time getting to know them and talking to them. These are things you learn about a person only through time and friendship. I don't see how anyone could be shallow enough to say something like, 'What you see is what you get.' I understand the principal behind it, and I might use that phrase about somebody else sometimes, because I know some people that are just nice enough that it really would apply to them (even though it's not entirely true) for the most part; Because they are just nice people. But to say it about yourself to get someone to go out with you is just awful.
And just to let you know...The guy that said that initially proved my point. I thought he was a really nice guy at first and didn't want to hurt his feelings. In fact, I thought he was so nice that I really considered saying yes. But I'm so glad I didn't. I stuck to my resolution to get to know him better, and in spite of what he said, after some time, his real colors started to show, and he's not nearly as nice as I thought he was.
So yeah. What you see is NEVER what you get with anyone. People can be married for years and still not know each other completely. Every once in awhile my dad will tell us about something that happened to him and my mom will go, "Really? I didn't know that." They've known each other for nineteen years and still don't know everything there is to know about each other! How can they? We don't even know ourselves completely. The only one who can know us completely is God.
Tuesday, July 3, 2007
The Mudhole
I have been going through a very confusing, hard time lately.
I feel heartbroken over things that happened a long time ago. I'm feeling things I thought I would never feel again...Things I was doing such a good job at warding off. I've become SUCH a happy person. I mean genuinely happy. And SO hopeful. I have so much hope for the future. But in these past few days I've just been so sad and sluggish. I finally let all these negative feelings catch up with me, and trust me, it stinks. A lot.
I think the reason I've been so vulnerable to these feelings lately is that I'm further away from God than I have been in a long while. I don't know exactly the cause. But I feel so distracted...so unwilling to surrender. It's like there's an anti-Kendra forcefield around my Bible. I'm not kidding.
But you know what's weird? It's that I feel SO far from God, and yet I feel Him so close to me at the same time. I feel like I'm sitting in a mudhole. Tired of seeking God out. Opting instead for the pit of my own self-pity; And yet instead of running further away, telling me to get back up and chase Him even though I'm exhausted, God stops, sits down in the mud with me, and starts to teach me. He starts to talk to me, and tell me things about Himself. I never lift my head. Never let Him know that I'm listening. But He knows I am, and so He keeps teaching. Keeps talking. And I keep learning.
I love God so much. He's amazing. I wish I didn't feel so washed out.
I feel heartbroken over things that happened a long time ago. I'm feeling things I thought I would never feel again...Things I was doing such a good job at warding off. I've become SUCH a happy person. I mean genuinely happy. And SO hopeful. I have so much hope for the future. But in these past few days I've just been so sad and sluggish. I finally let all these negative feelings catch up with me, and trust me, it stinks. A lot.
I think the reason I've been so vulnerable to these feelings lately is that I'm further away from God than I have been in a long while. I don't know exactly the cause. But I feel so distracted...so unwilling to surrender. It's like there's an anti-Kendra forcefield around my Bible. I'm not kidding.
But you know what's weird? It's that I feel SO far from God, and yet I feel Him so close to me at the same time. I feel like I'm sitting in a mudhole. Tired of seeking God out. Opting instead for the pit of my own self-pity; And yet instead of running further away, telling me to get back up and chase Him even though I'm exhausted, God stops, sits down in the mud with me, and starts to teach me. He starts to talk to me, and tell me things about Himself. I never lift my head. Never let Him know that I'm listening. But He knows I am, and so He keeps teaching. Keeps talking. And I keep learning.
I love God so much. He's amazing. I wish I didn't feel so washed out.
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